“dont be silly”

Why I wrote a book

For most of my life I have helped other people through change. It is the heart of what I do. But a few years ago change arrived in my own home in a way I was not ready for, and I had to learn to walk through it myself, as a mother first and everything else second.

When my child came out as transgender, I went looking for something to hold on to. Not a medical guide, but the honest account of a parent who had simply lived it. I wanted to know that someone else had felt the fear I was feeling, had said the wrong thing the way I had, and had still come out the other side with their family intact. I couldn’t find that book anywhere. So I wrote it.

It is called dont be silly, after the words I said in the moment my child first told me the truth. Words I have spent years making sense of since. The book is the whole journey, from that first clumsy reaction to the proud, settled place we reached as a family. I write about the grief nobody warns you about, the long fights for support, and the fierce, unshakeable love that carried us all the way through.

Writing it was the hardest and the most healing thing I have done. Some chapters I could only manage in short bursts, others poured out in one sitting. Putting it all on the page made me look squarely at what I got wrong, and at everything I did afterwards to put it right. It was therapeutic and it was raw, often on the same afternoon.

What I have learned, as a mother and in my coaching work, is that none of us should have to face the big moments alone. Change is frightening in the dark. It becomes something you can carry when someone walks alongside you.

If you are a parent sitting where I once sat, you do not have to work it out by yourself. And if you are facing a change of your own and could use someone in your corner, I would love to help. You can book a free, no-pressure call with me here - I am here to listen.

You are not alone, and there is always a way through. That is the whole reason I wrote the book, and the reason I do this work.